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<title>i don't hate you. by discodancing</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24835846">i don't hate you.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/discodancing/pseuds/discodancing'>discodancing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Falsettos - Lapine/Finn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Chess, Gen, It doesn't really matter much though, Marvin is (sort of) a Good Dad, POV Second Person, Yes that means Whizzer is dead, father-son bonding, jason is smart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:08:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>384</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24835846</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/discodancing/pseuds/discodancing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"i don't hate you."</p><p>it's crazy that jason needs to say that to his own father.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i don't hate you.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is really short, but im in love with the way it turned out.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I don’t hate you.”</p><p>You’re sitting across from your son of only thirteen, but as you look him in the eyes, you feel that he’s older than anyone you’ve ever met. His eyes are that of the aged, surrounded by dark signs of lack of sleep. You wonder when you missed his whole life, when he grew up without you noticing.</p><p>You’re about to speak, but he makes another move on the chessboard in front of you. He won the game again, because of course he did. He’s probably the smartest person you’ve ever known.</p><p>“I know.” You say, but that’s a lie. You used to think you were a pretty good liar, but now you’re not so sure. Sitting in front of your son of only thirteen is like sitting before a human lie detector. He knows everything about you, and not because you’ve told him. </p><p>“But I’ve never told you that before.”</p><p>It hits you like a ton of bricks, then, that he even has to say it at all. Your son of only thirteen shouldn’t feel the need to tell you that he doesn’t hate you. He shouldn’t, but he does. You like to think that you’d change things if you had a time machine, but you don’t. You don’t have one, and now you have to live with the hurt you’ve caused.</p><p>“You shouldn’t have to.” You say, because you’re right. </p><p>“But I do.” He’s right too.</p><p>Your son, Jason is his name, is very similar to you. Similar, but not the same. Jason would never make the same mistakes you did, not in a million years. You think maybe you’ve taught him a good lesson in that sense, but maybe that’s egotistical of you. Whizzer used to tell you that your ego was bigger than your brain, and now you’re starting to understand that.</p><p>“I don’t hate you. Not really, at least.” </p><p>Not really? You’re not sure what that’s supposed to mean, but as you watch Jason put the pieces back to their starting position, you realize he doesn’t want to elaborate on that. If there was something he wanted to say, he’d say it. </p><p>“Okay, Jason.” You say. </p><p>His bar mitzvah was only a year ago, and yet he’s more of a man than you will ever be.</p>
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